Losing a purpose in life

IMAG0040As of late, I’ve been going through a minor case of depression. Everyday feels empty. I have nothing to do. I don’t know what to do. Barely any friends to hang out with. Just recently, my girlfriend and I had broken up from our dying relationship. She had tried hard to get me to open up to her and I was oblivious to her emotional needs. I had sacrificed a lot for her. a lot of my time. And without her there’s a void in my everyday life. There was a lot of ups and downs but I always wanted to stay positive so I ignored and ran away from all negative situations and pretend they didn’t exist. Until it really hit me that I am losing someone so important to my life that I feel like my life has lost its purpose. It really wasn’t the best relationship someone could have, but I overlooked that issue and tried to move on from it than brood over something not worth the time. We both had problems we couldn’t help each other fix. I became slothful and couldn’t get rid of my pride. I believe she was becoming ¬†greedy and envious because she kept looking for what she couldn’t get from me. I couldn’t communicate well and I allowed myself to love her unconditionally, but she couldn’t do the same. We had no connection, nothing to really talk about, I’m always so caught up in trying to make my future better and brighter that I can’t hold down the present.

Sounds like a typical relationship problem. But the fact that we couldn’t get to the next stepping stone together means it wasn’t meant to be.


I really enjoy nature pictures like this. As much as I have trouble having the patience in person to look at the sky in its true beauty, I still admire the beauty in its photograph. I was just using a phone and it came out very nicely. I was going on a wall with a friend and didn’t even realize how the sky looked until he started taking a picture. It’s been really calm the past couple days without clouds so this was a very rare sight.

I always need to tell myself to stay positive and look forward to the possibilities of the future. I have trouble finding balance between two emotions or feelings and that’s one of my major flaws that hold me back. I’m not a perfect person. So I have to tell myself to try to be positive. Be that smiling face that can make others happy when they are down. And when something negative tries to bring you down, push it away and leave it behind. Don’t let it hold you back.

Best of luck to you


Restaurant pet peeves


Working in a restaurant is one of the most under appreciated jobs out there. 90% of the time we are paid minimum wage and our income is entirely based off of how people feel like when they come in and leave after eating. Ranging widely from 5% to 20% tips. And even then, average out to possibly $15-$25 an hour per night, still dependant on how people feel. You can work your ass off and still average 15.

The most annoying thing that people say who have never worked in a restaurant before or even use their brain to put it into perspective is “fight for a higher wage.” No, unfortunately that’s not how it works. Servers have the highest turnover rate in the work industry and are “easily replaceable” which makes your argument invalid. Because we won’t even have the job anymore if we try to dip. Also what people don’t understand is that if we raise hourly wages in a restaurant, your food will be almost double the price. No, your food does not enitrely pay for the servers time, it pays for the kitchen’s time, but if you want it to pay for the servers time also, expect it to rise and you’ll be paying $20 for a specialty burger instead of the average 10. Well, if you’re okay with that then maybe there should be a move to make your pasta 18 instead of 12. You’re still paying the same amount at the end of the day right?

There’s also the people who like to ask a ton of questions and don’t bother looking at the menu. Like, figure out what you want yourself or give us two or three choice to recommend. Not then whole menu. We don’t know what you like, so we aren’t going to detriment our income by recommending you the wrong thing. Because one day you’ll be hit with a bill you wish you didn’t have because you let the server choose for you. Figure out what you like yourself, we’re not your parents.