Losing a purpose in life

IMAG0040As of late, I’ve been going through a minor case of depression. Everyday feels empty. I have nothing to do. I don’t know what to do. Barely any friends to hang out with. Just recently, my girlfriend and I had broken up from our dying relationship. She had tried hard to get me to open up to her and I was oblivious to her emotional needs. I had sacrificed a lot for her. a lot of my time. And without her there’s a void in my everyday life. There was a lot of ups and downs but I always wanted to stay positive so I ignored and ran away from all negative situations and pretend they didn’t exist. Until it really hit me that I am losing someone so important to my life that I feel like my life has lost its purpose. It really wasn’t the best relationship someone could have, but I overlooked that issue and tried to move on from it than brood over something not worth the time. We both had problems we couldn’t help each other fix. I became slothful and couldn’t get rid of my pride. I believe she was becoming  greedy and envious because she kept looking for what she couldn’t get from me. I couldn’t communicate well and I allowed myself to love her unconditionally, but she couldn’t do the same. We had no connection, nothing to really talk about, I’m always so caught up in trying to make my future better and brighter that I can’t hold down the present.

Sounds like a typical relationship problem. But the fact that we couldn’t get to the next stepping stone together means it wasn’t meant to be.

IMAG0043

I really enjoy nature pictures like this. As much as I have trouble having the patience in person to look at the sky in its true beauty, I still admire the beauty in its photograph. I was just using a phone and it came out very nicely. I was going on a wall with a friend and didn’t even realize how the sky looked until he started taking a picture. It’s been really calm the past couple days without clouds so this was a very rare sight.

I always need to tell myself to stay positive and look forward to the possibilities of the future. I have trouble finding balance between two emotions or feelings and that’s one of my major flaws that hold me back. I’m not a perfect person. So I have to tell myself to try to be positive. Be that smiling face that can make others happy when they are down. And when something negative tries to bring you down, push it away and leave it behind. Don’t let it hold you back.

Best of luck to you

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