Losing a purpose in life

IMAG0040As of late, I’ve been going through a minor case of depression. Everyday feels empty. I have nothing to do. I don’t know what to do. Barely any friends to hang out with. Just recently, my girlfriend and I had broken up from our dying relationship. She had tried hard to get me to open up to her and I was oblivious to her emotional needs. I had sacrificed a lot for her. a lot of my time. And without her there’s a void in my everyday life. There was a lot of ups and downs but I always wanted to stay positive so I ignored and ran away from all negative situations and pretend they didn’t exist. Until it really hit me that I am losing someone so important to my life that I feel like my life has lost its purpose. It really wasn’t the best relationship someone could have, but I overlooked that issue and tried to move on from it than brood over something not worth the time. We both had problems we couldn’t help each other fix. I became slothful and couldn’t get rid of my pride. I believe she was becoming  greedy and envious because she kept looking for what she couldn’t get from me. I couldn’t communicate well and I allowed myself to love her unconditionally, but she couldn’t do the same. We had no connection, nothing to really talk about, I’m always so caught up in trying to make my future better and brighter that I can’t hold down the present.

Sounds like a typical relationship problem. But the fact that we couldn’t get to the next stepping stone together means it wasn’t meant to be.


I really enjoy nature pictures like this. As much as I have trouble having the patience in person to look at the sky in its true beauty, I still admire the beauty in its photograph. I was just using a phone and it came out very nicely. I was going on a wall with a friend and didn’t even realize how the sky looked until he started taking a picture. It’s been really calm the past couple days without clouds so this was a very rare sight.

I always need to tell myself to stay positive and look forward to the possibilities of the future. I have trouble finding balance between two emotions or feelings and that’s one of my major flaws that hold me back. I’m not a perfect person. So I have to tell myself to try to be positive. Be that smiling face that can make others happy when they are down. And when something negative tries to bring you down, push it away and leave it behind. Don’t let it hold you back.

Best of luck to you


Restaurant pet peeves


Working in a restaurant is one of the most under appreciated jobs out there. 90% of the time we are paid minimum wage and our income is entirely based off of how people feel like when they come in and leave after eating. Ranging widely from 5% to 20% tips. And even then, average out to possibly $15-$25 an hour per night, still dependant on how people feel. You can work your ass off and still average 15.

The most annoying thing that people say who have never worked in a restaurant before or even use their brain to put it into perspective is “fight for a higher wage.” No, unfortunately that’s not how it works. Servers have the highest turnover rate in the work industry and are “easily replaceable” which makes your argument invalid. Because we won’t even have the job anymore if we try to dip. Also what people don’t understand is that if we raise hourly wages in a restaurant, your food will be almost double the price. No, your food does not enitrely pay for the servers time, it pays for the kitchen’s time, but if you want it to pay for the servers time also, expect it to rise and you’ll be paying $20 for a specialty burger instead of the average 10. Well, if you’re okay with that then maybe there should be a move to make your pasta 18 instead of 12. You’re still paying the same amount at the end of the day right?

There’s also the people who like to ask a ton of questions and don’t bother looking at the menu. Like, figure out what you want yourself or give us two or three choice to recommend. Not then whole menu. We don’t know what you like, so we aren’t going to detriment our income by recommending you the wrong thing. Because one day you’ll be hit with a bill you wish you didn’t have because you let the server choose for you. Figure out what you like yourself, we’re not your parents.


He thinks he’s funny


I joined the Pokemon Go bandwagon because I played Pokemon before. I didn’t play past Ruby because my interests went elsewhere. There are so many people playing this game that I believe it is one of the most played online games now. Maybe more than WoW or DoTA 2. Screw league. I hate league lol. I’m pretty addicted to this game. Which I don’t believe is a good thing. But I know I’m going to be playing this when I go down to LA next week.

Pidgey being one of the most common Pokemon. I collect them all because of that lucky egg + evolution spam idea you can do for tons of exp. I just wish you can skip the cut scenes cuz they are long as hell. 

I also realized that the experience required to level up gets ridiculously high, so everyone will be catching up at a steady pace to be at the same footing as majority of the 24/7 players. So no real rush to try to be the best because people are going to be on the same footing fairly quick.

Be careful when catching Pokemon. I almost walked into someone last night. It was dark tho.

Don’t do drugs, play Pokemon.

I’m not very creative

After you survive your childhood and step into adult life, your creativity is not how it used to be. Everything becomes very linear and all you do is work to pay bills. Your imagination gets ruined and sometimes you become socially inept.

I did receive a very nice career that will reap benefits for the future to come, but at the moment I am living paycheck to paycheck, borrowing money here and there and can’t even eat properly for the life of me.

I’ve been trying to think of ideas of what to do during my free time as a Flight Attendant for a couple extra bucks but nothing comes to mind.

What doesn’t help is that I am home more than I am working every month and that doesn’t help my situation at all. It burdens others and increases the level of my stress.

I read up on transcription work so I’ll give that a shot and see how it goes I do type fairly quickly so it’ll speed up the process. But you never know until you try. Flight attending seems to be one of the most wanted ideal choices for a career, but I’d you got financial responsibilities, it’d be better if you solved those first, so you arent nailed down by debt.

I’ve never lived paycheck to paycheck since I worked as a server all my life so managing my costs is pretty difficult.

Where there’s a drought, there is fire


Unfortunately there was a massive fire within walking distance of where I am. It was a recycling center nearby that somehow caught fire, assuming someone effed up and couldn’t put it out. I haven’t heard of anyone being injured so that’s good, but the fire lasted a long time and a lot of water was used. California is in a drought and we keep having fires like we have the water to douse them. Sad California.

Pokemon Go all day

Today was pretty eventful playing Pokemon Go and getting some milk tea. Got a good amount and I’m satisfied but I know there are way better people out there playing tons lol.

I went to the park because there were a ton of pokestops around there. Ran into a bunch of pairs of people that were playing. It was pretty funny when we all ran towards the same spot to catch one Pokemon. Saw some kids half my height too, but no shame. Pokemon is life!

Good luck to you if you are playing


Not a lot of Pokemon to start but I’ll be flying around soon and will update you on my findings!


Here’s a little bit of my milk tea! Has brown sugar instead if regular sugar. Delicious! Great way to end the day~

Bay Area Izakaya

IMAG0057This is a free bottle of sake you get when you check in on facebook with 4 or more people. you also have the choice of getting beer instead if you’re not much of a sake person. Though if you do like sake, this one is really smooth. It’s like drinking water.

Mokutanya is open everyday of the year from 11am-2am in Burlingame right off of Broadway and California next to a gas station. It’s a perfect place to kick back with your coworkers and drink and have a couple snacks after a hard day of work. It has a nice dim environment with seating that goes into the ground. so if you don’t know where to go at 12am and you’re high as ****, go to Taco Bell.

If you enjoy having extra company, the waitresses, you wish were in scantily clad clothing but are just wearing all black with a little bit of cleavage, don’t mind small talk and cracking jokes with their customers. If you like eye candy you can go for eye candy, but their food is pretty decent as well.


Sometimes their food isn’t as consistent because they probably switch chefs out, but one thing that is promising is the $1 oysters on Mondays and Tuesdays after 7pm.(somewhere around that time). But don’t eat too many or you’ll obviously get sick and you won’t be happy the next morning. Wednesday’s and Thursday’s have exotic meat like swan, peacock, alligator and all other stuff. If you like ramen they also have different kinds of ramen. Pretty pricey but that’s the name of the game.

Alcohol is very pricey here compared to your more common Japanese restaurants. These will be about 2-3 times the price of a sushi joint near by. But if you enjoy the atmosphere and are most willing to get drunk as most people do, Sunday’s are 50% off their largest bottles (1.5 liters and up).


Hope you enjoy this place as much as I do!

Cheers! And drive safely!

We’re all under the same sky, no matter where we are in the world


I had the choice to fly out tonight and then go to Cancun tomorrow, but in exchange I would have to give up one of my guaranteed days off. I turned down the chance because it was just a quick turn and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything there. Low on money anyways, so I stuck with working at a restaurant for some quick money. Pretty slow today for lunch.

There isn’t much going on so I decided to try and snapshot some clouds, but there isn’t any. Today is a beautiful day and I’m stuck working. Clear blue sky with the sun beating down on me during my break. Good way to relax before the dinner shift. Wish I could enjoy it more.

Welcome to the life of poverty.

Relaxing day off with a thriller to spice up the day


If you watch Japanese animations, familiar with zombie apocalypse, and admire steam punk, this one is for you.
Koutestujou no Kabaneri is one of my favorite anime this season that just finished its last episode today. I was immensely focused on this episode as its packed with the action you need and the best of music playing in the background, intensifying the scenes even more.

I don’t want to spoil anything so you’ll need to watch it yourself. But has one of the best main characters by far from majority of animations. Totally down to earth but still protected by plot armor. Not the most attractive but still attractive because of his personality.

The way this ends is gruesomely satisfying. As it goes from Human vs. Zombie to Human vs. Human. Which is a good example of the real world in my opinion. In which the world is focusing and fighting against the wrong reason due to fear and not tackling the real problem. Surprisingly, no romance either.

Anyways I digress. Watch this and you won’t be disappointed. I use https://kissanime.to/Anime/Koutetsujou-no-Cabaneli . I recommend this website because they provide some smooth streaming and high definition quality. I also recommend watching this with your sound blasting high on a big screen to get the most of it.

There’s some bitter folks out there that may not like this anime of course, but they don’t matter. heh

Happy watching!

Home sweet home

IMAG0050.jpgShortly following my stay in San Diego is being back home to free food. I’ve been so broke recently I have been trying to not spend a dime on unnecessary expenses. But for the sake of you guys reading my blogs I try to find something decent about my trips. My balance is in the negatives as bills pile up so I can’t afford to go out anymore. So I really appreciate being home and having some nice home made Korean food. Never gets old.

I’m not sure when I’ll be flying out again but I do need to figure out how to survive come July.

Best of luck to you!